Legolas and the Magical Yam
by Satara
Summary: Legolas comes across a magical talking vegetable that many people eat for Thanksgiving. What adventures will this odd match up lead to? Hmmm....


Hi, I'm not very good at writing fanfiction, so please, leave me reviews and constructive criticism. I can use all the help I can get. Well, I hope you like it. I guess I need to do a disclaimer so.....  
"Aha! This girl here owns nothing!" says Nigel the banana, in his hokey British accent.  
"Aye, nothing!" says Davey the apple (who just so happens to be a pirate).  
"Yes, yes, no need to repeat me chum." Nigel says.  
"Arrr. Ye be tellin me tha ah'm repeatin after you?" Davey inquires.  
"Why, yes, you bloody sea rat!" shouts Nigel.  
"Well, yer a scurvy Brit!" Davey shouts back.  
"Being a scurvy Brit is better than being a lousy pirate!" Nigel screams.  
All goes quiet. Davey whimpers, "Nigel, ye went too far. That time ye went way too far."  
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry ol' chap, I didn't mean it. Honestly, you're probably the best pirate this side of Greece; no, make that in the entire world!" Nigel apologizes.  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"Can ah have a hug?"  
The author interupts, "Nooo! This is getting too mushy! No one needs to see an apple and a banana attempt to hug. On with the disclaimer! I own nothing, not Lord of the Rings, no Mirkwood, no Legolas :-(. But I do own Fred :-) Even though he can get a bit bossy sometimes..." ~~~~~~~~~ Legolas and the Magical Yam Chapter One  
  
One bright and sunny afternoon, our favorite elf was taking a stroll in his forest-home of Mirkwood. The sunlight filtered through the leafy canopy above, creating a greenish complexion on Legolas' dreamy face. Singing and nancing through the woods, he hopped into a clearing he had never seen before, and he knew these woods like the back of his hand. Being an elf unlike the rest, stupid and hungry, he walked into the center of the clearing, sat down and opened the picnic basket he had brought with him.  
After finishing his meal of lembas bread, an elven type of wafer, and beef jerky, a rare elven delicacy, he lay on the grass and watched the clouds.  
"Oooooo! It's a bunny!" Legolas exclaimed, pointing a finger at a big fluffy cloud. "Wow! It's a king whipped by his girlfriend of sixty years!" he said, pointing at a cloud bearing an uncanny resemblance to Aragorn, son of Arathorn.  
Since Legolas had the attention span of a three year old dwarf, he soon tired of the clouds. So he decided to use his super elven hearing to listen to the earth (no, this is not a common elf habit, don't get the wrong impression about elves, it's just a common Legolas habit). He stuck his ear to the ground and closed his eyes.  
"Shwoooooo, mwooooooo, crumple, neeeeeee, boom!" sounded the ground, "Thooooo help twaaa me! Release me from this prison!" Legolas jumped up, realizing that the ground had just 'spoken' to him.  
Sticking his ear back to the ground, Legolas murmured, "Hmmmm...I must be hearing things, beef jerky does that to me all the time." He listened to the earth again.  
"No! You nancy elf boy! You're not hearing things! Help me! Let me out! Dig me out!" cried something from the ground.  
The poncy elf obeyed the voice from under. Getting his manicured nails quite dirty, Legolas dug towards the source of the voice. Deeper and deeper he dug until he finally touched a substance other than dirt. He pulled it out and curiously looked at it.  
"Hi! I'm Legolas!"  
"What are you looking at?" asked the oddly shaped, dirty lump.  
Legolas immediately stopped looking at the lump and turned his attention to a nearby tree. "Okay, I'm not looking at you. So what exactly are you?"  
"Anyone with an ounce of common sense would know what I am!"  
"Uhhhhh...."  
"Oh, I see, you're one of those mentally challenged elves."  
No, no I'm not! My daddy says I'm special!"  
"Right, right... Well, in that case, I'll help you out, I'm a yam."  
Now, any other elf would turn and run at the discovery of a talking yam in an unfamiliar clearing, but this was not any other elf, this was Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood.  
"Oh, alright, a talking yam... So... you wanna come along with me for awhile? I've never met a talking yam before."  
"Well, not many people have, as I am the only one. So, where are you going?"  
"I dunno."  
"How about the Alps?"  
"Sure, never heard of them before, but it sounds fun. I like that word... Alps...Alps Alps Alps Alps."  
"Really, you've never heard of the Alps before? Oh, oh, my bad, we're in Middle Earth now, no Alps here."  
"No, Alps!?!"  
"Nope,  
nada, so in  
that case,  
lets go to  
Amon Hen, I  
feel like  
swimming."  
"Ok! I've been there before! I went on an important mission with eight of my closest friends, it was so fun! I met little people! We had tea parties every day!!!"  
"Right... important mission, you? Ha! But lets get going, I want to get there as soon as possible."  
So offf the unlikely pair went, South-West to Amon Hen. Legolas nancing all the way, carrying the Magical Talking Yam.  
"Hey, yam-man, do you have a name?"  
"It's Fridoboboboobaloo."  
Legolas stared in confusion.  
"You can call me Fred."  
"Hi Fred! I'm Legolas!"  
"Yeah, you already told me."  
"Oh, ok!" Legolas smiled.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~ Review Please! 


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